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Radical Acceptance Kindle Edition
鶹
This classic work now featuresan insightful new introduction, an exclusive bonus chapter, andadditionalguided meditations.
“Radical Acceptance offers us an invitation to embrace ourselves with all our pain, fear, and anxieties, and to step lightly yet firmly on the path of understanding and compassion.”—Thich Nhat Hanh
“Believingthat something is wrong with us is a deep and tenacious suffering,” says Tara Brach at the start of this illuminating book. This suffering emerges in crippling self-judgments and conflicts in our relationships, in addictions and perfectionism, in loneliness and overwork—all the forces that keep our lives constricted and unfulfilled. Radical Acceptance offers a path to freedom, including the day-to-day practical guidance developed over Dr. Brach’s forty years of work with therapy clients and Buddhist students.
Writing with great warmth and clarity, Tara Brach brings her teachings alive through personal stories and case histories, fresh interpretations of Buddhist tales, and guided meditations. Step by step, she shows us howwe can stop being at war with ourselves and begin to live fully every precious moment of our lives.
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherBantam
- Publication dateNov. 23 2004
- File size1.5 MB

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From the Publisher


Product description
From Publishers Weekly
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Review
From the Back Cover
— Jack Kornfield, author of A Path with Heart and After the Ecstasy, the Laundry
About the Author
Actress and director Cassandra Campbell has narrated nearly two hundred audiobooks and has received multiple Audie Awards and more than twenty AudioFile Earphones Awards, including for Orange Is the New Black by Piper Kerman.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
You will be walking some night . . .
It will be clear to you suddenly
that you were about to escape,
and that you are guilty: you misread
the complex instructions, you are not
a member, you lost your card
or never had one . . .
Wendell Berry
For years I've had a recurring dream in which I am caught in a futile struggle to get somewhere. Sometimes I'm running up a hill; sometimes I am climbing over boulders or swimming against a current. Often a loved one is in trouble or something bad is about to happen. My mind is speeding frantically, but my body feels heavy and exhausted; I move as if through molasses. I know I should be able to handle the problem, but no matter how hard I try, I can't get where I need to go. Completely alone and shadowed by the fear of failure, I am trapped in my dilemma. Nothing else in the world exists but that.
This dream captures the essence of the trance of unworthiness. In our dreams we often seem to be the protagonist in a pre-scripted drama, fated to react to our circumstances in a given way. We seem unaware that choices and options might exist. When we are in the trance and caught up in our stories and fears about how we might fail, we are in much the same state. We are living in a waking dream that completely defines and delimits our experience of life. The rest of the world is merely a backdrop as we struggle to get somewhere, to be a better person, to accomplish, to avoid making mistakes. As in a dream, we take our stories to be the truth--a compelling reality--and they consume most of our attention. While we eat lunch or drive home from work, while we talk to our partners or read to our children at night, we continue to replay our worries and plans. Inherent in the trance is the belief that no matter how hard we try, we are always, in some way, falling short.
Feeling unworthy goes hand in hand with feeling separate from others, separate from life. If we are defective, how can we possibly belong? It's a vicious cycle: The more deficient we feel, the more separate and vulnerable we feel. Underneath our fear of being flawed is a more primal fear that something is wrong with life, that something bad is going to happen. Our reaction to this fear is to feel blame, even hatred, toward whatever we consider the source of the problem: ourselves, others, life itself. But even when we have directed our aversion outward, deep down we still feel vulnerable.
Our feelings of unworthiness and alienation from others give rise to various forms of suffering. For some, the most glaring expression is addiction. It may be to alcohol, food or drugs. Others feel addicted to a relationship, dependent on a particular person or people in order to feel they are complete and that life is worth living. Some try to feel important through long hours of grueling work--an addiction that our culture often applauds. Some create outer enemies and are always at war with the world.
The belief that we are deficient and unworthy makes it difficult to trust that we are truly loved. Many of us live with an undercurrent of depression or hopelessness about ever feeling close to other people. We fear that if they realize we are boring or stupid, selfish or insecure, they'll reject us. If we're not attractive enough, we may never be loved in an intimate, romantic way. We yearn for an unquestioned experience of belonging, to feel at home with ourselves and others, at ease and fully accepted. But the trance of unworthiness keeps the sweetness of belonging out of reach.
The trance of unworthiness intensifies when our lives feel painful and out of control. We may assume that our physical sickness or emotional depression is our own fault--the result of our bad genes or our lack of discipline and willpower. We may feel that the loss of a job or a painful divorce is a reflection of our personal flaws. If we had only done better, if we were somehow different, things would have gone right. While we might place the blame on someone else, we still tacitly blame ourselves for getting into the situation in the first place.
Even if we ourselves are not suffering or in pain, if someone close to us--a partner or a child--is, we can take this as further proof of our inadequacy. One of my psychotherapy clients has a thirteen-year-old son who was diagnosed with attention deficit disorder. She has tried everything she can to help--doctors, diet, acupuncture, drugs, love. Yet still he suffers from academic setbacks and feels socially isolated. He is convinced that he is a "loser" and, out of pain and frustration, frequently lashes out in rage. Regardless of her loving efforts, she lives in anguish, feeling that she is failing her son and should be doing more.
The trance of unworthiness doesn't always show up as overt feelings of shame and deficiency. When I told a good friend that I was writing about unworthiness and how pervasive it is, she took issue. "My main challenge isn't shame, it's pride," she insisted. This woman, a successful writer and teacher, told me how easily she gets caught up in feeling superior to others. She finds many people mentally slow and boring. Because so many people admire her, she often rides surges of feeling special and important. "I'm embarrassed to admit it," she said, "and maybe this is where shame fits in. But I like having people look up to me . . . that's when I feel good about myself." My friend is playing out the flip side of the trance. She went on to acknowledge that during dry periods, times when she isn't feeling productive or useful or admired, she does slip into feeling unworthy. Rather than simply recognizing her talents and enjoying her strengths, she needs the reassurance of feeling special or superior.
Convinced that we are not good enough, we can never relax. We stay on guard, monitoring ourselves for shortcomings. When we inevitably find them, we feel even more insecure and undeserving. We have to try even harder. The irony of all of this is . . . where do we think we are going anyway? One meditation student told me that he felt as if he were steamrolling through his days, driven by the feeling that he needed to do more. In a wistful tone he added, "I'm skimming over life and racing to the finish line--death."
When I talk about the suffering of unworthiness in my meditation classes, I frequently notice students nodding their heads, some of them in tears. They may be realizing for the first time that the shame they feel is not their own personal burden, that it is felt by many. Afterward some of them stay to talk. They confide that feeling undeserving has made it impossible for them to ask for help or to let themselves feel held by another's love. Some recognize that their sense of unworthiness and insecurity has kept them from realizing their dreams. Often students tell me that their habit of feeling chronically deficient has made them continually doubt that they are meditating correctly and mistrust that they are growing spiritually.
A number of them have told me that, in their early days on the spiritual path, they assumed their feelings of inadequacy would be transcended through a dedicated practice of meditation. Yet even though meditation has helped them in important ways, they find that deep pockets of shame and insecurity have a stubborn way of persisting--sometimes despite decades of practice. Perhaps they have pursued a style of meditation that wasn't well suited for their emotional temperament, or perhaps they needed the additional support of psychotherapy to uncover and heal deep wounds. Whatever the reasons, the failure to relieve this suffering through spiritual practice can bring up a basic doubt about whether we can ever be truly happy and free.
Bringing an Unworthy Self into Spiritual Life
In their comments, I hear echoes of my own story. After graduating from college, I moved into an ashram, a spiritual community, and enthusiastically devoted myself to the lifestyle for almost twelve years. I felt I had found a path through which I could purify myself and transcend the imperfections of my ego--the self and its strategies. We were required to awaken every day at 3:30 a.m., take a cold shower, and then from four until six-thirty do a sadhana (spiritual discipline) of yoga, meditation, chanting and prayer. By breakfast time I often felt as if I were floating in a glowing, loving, blissful state. I was at one with the loving awareness I call the Beloved and experienced this to be my own deepest essence. I didn't feel bad or good about myself, I just felt good.
By the end of breakfast, or a bit later in the morning, my habitual thoughts and behaviors would start creeping in again. Just as they had in college, those ever-recurring feelings of insecurity and selfishness would let me know I was falling short. Unless I found the time for more yoga and meditation, I would often find myself feeling once again like my familiar small-minded, not-okay self. Then I'd go to bed, wake up and start over again.
While I touched genuine peace and openheartedness, my inner critic continued to assess my level of purity. I mistrusted myself for the ways I would pretend to be positive when underneath I felt lonely or afraid. While I loved the yoga and meditation practices, I was embarrassed by my need to impress others with the strength of my practice. I wanted others to see me as a deep meditator and devoted yogi, a person who served her world with care and generosity. Meanwhile, I judged other people for being slack in their discipline, and judged myself for being so judgmental. Even in the midst of community, I often felt lonely and alone.
I had the idea that if I really applied myself, it would take eight to ten years to release all my self-absorption and be wise and free. Periodically I would consult teachers I admired from various other spiritual traditions: "So, how am I doing? What else can I do?" Invariably, they would respond, "Just relax." I wasn't exactly sure what ...
Product details
- ASIN : B000FC2NHG
- Publisher : Bantam
- Accessibility : Learn more
- Publication date : Nov. 23 2004
- Edition : Reprint
- Language : English
- File size : 1.5 MB
- Screen Reader : Supported
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Enabled
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Print length : 352 pages
- ISBN-10 : 9780553901023
- ISBN-13 : 978-0553901023
- Page Flip : Enabled
- 鶹 Rank: #292 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Tara Brach, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, an internationally known teacher of mindfulness meditation, and the founder of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington. She is author of bestselling Radical Acceptance, True Refuge, and Radical Compassion. She has contributed numerous articles to popular magazines and websites.
Tara is a frequent keynote speaker at conferences where she discusses the role of mindfulness in emotional healing and spiritual awakening. She leads accredited workshops for mental health professionals interested in integrating meditation into the practice of psychotherapy. Tara also offers meditation retreats at centers in the United States and in Europe.
Her podcasted talks and meditations are downloaded over 2 million times each month. In addition to her public teaching, Tara is active in bringing meditation into DC area schools, prisons and to underserved populations, and in activities that promote racial justice.
Customer reviews
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Customers find the content brilliant, enlightening, and to the point. They also appreciate the readability, saying the writing is clear, relatable, and easy to read. Readers also describe the book as wise, uplifting, and inspiring.
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Customers find the content brilliant, enlightening, and to the point. They say it's full of down-to-earth, common sense wisdom. Readers also mention the book provides great foundational knowledge for people looking to live better and more aware.
"Great book, author has an amazing background both in psychology and meditation. A well mix to radical acceptance." Read more
"Wonderful read, this book was recommended to me and I would do the same." Read more
"...This remarkable book offers profound insights and practical guidance that have the power to transform not only the reader's relationship with..." Read more
"The books is a must read for all. Our mind is always and active and unfortunately it brings up negative thinking and experiences...." Read more
Customers find the writing clear, compassionate, and deeply resonant. They say it's easy to read and relatable.
"Well written." Read more
"...Her writing is clear, compassionate, and deeply resonant, allowing readers to easily grasp and apply the concepts to their own lives...." Read more
"Clear, beautiful insights related that help to make sense of life...." Read more
"...It's a very practical and relatable writing on something initially deep and difficult to comprehend for an ego-driven world" Read more
Customers find the book practical, insightful, and well-written. They also say it's wise, uplifting, and inspiring.
"...It's a very practical and relatable writing on something initially deep and difficult to comprehend for an ego-driven world" Read more
"...books. I found the book is full of down-to-earth, common sense wisdom and is so easy to read that anyone from young teenagers to much older folks..." Read more
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"...Wise, uplifting, inspiring. I highly recommend it." Read more
Top reviews from Canada
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- Reviewed in Canada on March 24, 2023Verified Purchase"Radical Acceptance" by Dr. Tara Brach is nothing short of life-changing. This remarkable book offers profound insights and practical guidance that have the power to transform not only the reader's relationship with themselves, but also their relationships with others.
One of my favorite quotes from the book is, "It takes courage to tell the truth about how we feel, especially since we don't ever really know how it will be received." This quote resonated with me deeply because it highlights the vulnerability required in being honest about our emotions. Dr. Brach emphasizes the importance of facing our fears, embracing our feelings, and being true to ourselves.
Dr. Brach's teachings on mindfulness and self-compassion are presented in a way that makes them accessible and relatable to readers from all walks of life. Her writing is clear, compassionate, and deeply resonant, allowing readers to easily grasp and apply the concepts to their own lives.
Another powerful quote from the book is, "While it takes courage to be vulnerable, the reward is sweet: we awaken compassion and genuine intimacy in our relationships with others." This line truly encapsulates the transformative potential of radical acceptance. By embracing our own vulnerability, we open ourselves up to deeper connections with others and create space for true understanding and empathy.
"Radical Acceptance" is a must-read for anyone seeking personal growth, self-compassion, and deeper relationships. Dr. Tara Brach masterfully guides readers on a journey of self-discovery that has the power to change lives. I cannot recommend this book highly enough; it is an essential addition to any personal development library.
- Reviewed in Canada on January 4, 2025Verified PurchaseThe books is a must read for all. Our mind is always and active and unfortunately it brings up negative thinking and experiences. This book will help you. Also buy the workbook.
- Reviewed in Canada on October 10, 2022Verified PurchaseClear, beautiful insights related that help to make sense of life. I love the way Tara speaks in such a human way yet is infused with compassion and wisdom.
- Reviewed in Canada on February 14, 2023Verified PurchaseIt was insightful but a slow read.
- Reviewed in Canada on September 24, 2022Verified PurchaseLove Tara Brach's teachings. She is so open about her own experiences...she is endearing. She shows us that we are all human and imperfect and it's ok to accept this in ourselves and others.
- Reviewed in Canada on April 12, 2012Verified PurchaseI want to begin with qualifications. I am tough. I deal with terrible things on a daily basis. I have a thick skin and the armor has served me well. That said, this book has changed how I see myself.
Certain things affect how we see ourselves, especially in childhood. We see ourselves through the eyes of our parents, caregivers, guardians, friends, leaders, teachers. We want to impress. Some of us lead ourselves to the extreme of perfectionism. Perfection is unattainable. Perfection is a recipe for self-loathing.
I found this book life-changing. It forced me to self-examine my perfectionism and unworthiness, to really take a hard look at the ways I tried to manipulate my performance in the outside world to conform to peoples' expectations, and how that brought me suffering at the expense of the curation of my own valuable soul. I won't say it solved all of my problems, but it definitely helped me strike at the heart of them. The real hard work is still left up to you, but she shines a bright white light on the blackness of the space between the lovingkindness with which a person could treat themselves and the way we actually treat ourselves. She makes it first okay to treat yourself with this lovingkindness, and that in itself is transformative.
I will recommend this book to anyone who's very deeply hard on themselves, especially those who were raised in a highly critical environment that was not at all kind.
- Reviewed in Canada on January 10, 2020Verified PurchaseGreat foundational knowledge for people looking to live better and more aware. It's a very practical and relatable writing on something initially deep and difficult to comprehend for an ego-driven world
- Reviewed in Canada on April 9, 2022Verified PurchaseThis book was recommended to me by a therapist when I was struggling with severe anxiety. This book utterly changed my life. It began my path learning about Buddhism and I'm a much calmer, happier person today because of it. Highly recommend it.
Top reviews from other countries
- IGReviewed in Spain on January 9, 2025
5.0 out of 5 stars A Transformative Guide to Self-Compassion and Letting Go
Verified PurchaseMy Experience with Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach:
As a practitioner and advocate for mindfulness and self-compassion, I have found Radical Acceptance to be an invaluable resource. It’s the only book I consistently recommend to all my students and clients, and I have gifted it numerous times. Tara Brach, a renowned meditation teacher and psychologist, offers practical exercises to help individuals learn to accept themselves, let go of self-judgment, and cultivate genuine self-love.
What Resonated with Me:
• Practical Guidance: Brach provides actionable practices that guide readers toward self-acceptance and compassion. These exercises are designed to help individuals embrace their true selves without judgment. 
• Addressing the ‘Trance of Unworthiness’: The book delves into the pervasive feeling many have of not being “good enough,” which Brach refers to as the “trance of unworthiness.” She offers insights and tools to awaken from this trance and recognize one’s inherent worth. 
• Integration of Buddhist Wisdom and Western Psychology: Brach seamlessly blends Eastern spiritual practices with Western therapeutic approaches, making the teachings accessible and relevant to a broad audience. 
Insights from Other Readers:
• A review on Spirituality & Practice highlights that Brach “presents radical acceptance as the antidote to this widespread malaise,” referring to the common feelings of deficiency and self-judgment. 
• Mental Health at Home notes that the book “looks at the relationship between pain & fear and teaches the value of self-compassion and acceptance.” 
Why I Recommend It:
For anyone seeking to cultivate self-compassion, let go of self-criticism, and embrace life fully, Radical Acceptance serves as a comprehensive manual. Brach’s teachings are both profound and practical, making the journey toward self-love attainable for all.
Conclusion:
Radical Acceptance is a transformative work that empowers readers to embrace themselves and their experiences with the heart of a Buddha. It’s a must-read for those looking to deepen their mindfulness practice and foster a compassionate relationship with themselves.
IGA Transformative Guide to Self-Compassion and Letting Go
Reviewed in Spain on January 9, 2025
As a practitioner and advocate for mindfulness and self-compassion, I have found Radical Acceptance to be an invaluable resource. It’s the only book I consistently recommend to all my students and clients, and I have gifted it numerous times. Tara Brach, a renowned meditation teacher and psychologist, offers practical exercises to help individuals learn to accept themselves, let go of self-judgment, and cultivate genuine self-love.
What Resonated with Me:
• Practical Guidance: Brach provides actionable practices that guide readers toward self-acceptance and compassion. These exercises are designed to help individuals embrace their true selves without judgment. 
• Addressing the ‘Trance of Unworthiness’: The book delves into the pervasive feeling many have of not being “good enough,” which Brach refers to as the “trance of unworthiness.” She offers insights and tools to awaken from this trance and recognize one’s inherent worth. 
• Integration of Buddhist Wisdom and Western Psychology: Brach seamlessly blends Eastern spiritual practices with Western therapeutic approaches, making the teachings accessible and relevant to a broad audience. 
Insights from Other Readers:
• A review on Spirituality & Practice highlights that Brach “presents radical acceptance as the antidote to this widespread malaise,” referring to the common feelings of deficiency and self-judgment. 
• Mental Health at Home notes that the book “looks at the relationship between pain & fear and teaches the value of self-compassion and acceptance.” 
Why I Recommend It:
For anyone seeking to cultivate self-compassion, let go of self-criticism, and embrace life fully, Radical Acceptance serves as a comprehensive manual. Brach’s teachings are both profound and practical, making the journey toward self-love attainable for all.
Conclusion:
Radical Acceptance is a transformative work that empowers readers to embrace themselves and their experiences with the heart of a Buddha. It’s a must-read for those looking to deepen their mindfulness practice and foster a compassionate relationship with themselves.
Images in this review
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mafReviewed in Germany on August 14, 2014
5.0 out of 5 stars die ultimative Befreiung hin zu Selbstakzeptanz und Selbstliebe - so stelt sich die Nächstenliebe ganz von selbst ein
Verified PurchaseEndlich mal ein Buch, in dem weder das Ego geschlachtet noch die Angst ver-Teufelt wird.
Hier muss auch kein Arm abfaulen, damit die Erleuchtung eintritt.
Ich finde die Beispiele aus Tara Brachs eigenem Leben und dem ihrer Klienten sehr hilfreich und motivierend um die in dem Buch angebotenen Übungen/Meditationen durchzuführen. Die Grundhaltung von liebevoller Annahme und Mitgefühl zieht sich konsequent durch das ganze Buch - das habe ich bisher bei fast keiner meiner leibhaftigen Lehrerinnen beobachten können und auch Autorinnen wie Doreen Virtue und Marianne Williamson ergehen sich gerne im Ego- oder Angst-beating.
Der Aufbau der Beispiele und Übungen von den Fragen zum Erkennen der Trance des geringen Selbstwertgefühls, der Kraft des Ja-Sagen, Meditation zum inneren Lächeln, Vipassana, Tonglen und anderen Übungen des liebevollen Gewahrseins ist auch für den Einsteiger gut zu verfolgen. Ein Rundum gelungenes Buch für die, die lieber ihrem Leiden am Sein als ihrem Sein ein Ende setzen wollen.
Das passende Zitat von Carl Rogers findet sich ebenfalls im Buch (neben vielen anderen erhellenden Aussprüchen und Gedichten): "Es ist ein kurioses Paradoxon, dass ich mich, wenn ich mich so akzeptiere, wie ich bin, verändern kann".
- Affonso ScaranteReviewed in Brazil on August 29, 2019
5.0 out of 5 stars The Pause
Verified PurchaseThe pause was the main lesson for me in this book. To pause and be aware during our daily lives is a practice I've being doing since I started this book. I'll probably be reading this book again in the future, with a more mature mind. Thanks Tara!
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Ana Paula RomeroReviewed in Mexico on November 5, 2024
5.0 out of 5 stars Me encanta
Verified PurchaseDe los mejores libros que he leído, este junto con el de Deja de ser tu de Joe Dispenza me han cambiado la vida