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  • Opening Up: A Guide To Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships
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Opening Up: A Guide To Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships Kindle Edition

4.5 out of 5 stars 872 ratings
4.1 on Goodreads
4,066 ratings

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Relationship expert and bestselling author Tristan Taormino offers a bold new strategy for creating loving, lasting relationships. Drawing on in-depth interviews with over a hundred women and men, Opening Up explores the real-life benefits and challenges of all styles of open relationships — from partnered non-monogamy to solo polyamory. With her refreshingly down-to-earth style and sharp wit, Taormino offers solutions for making an open relationship work, including tips on dealing with jealousy, negotiating boundaries, finding community, parenting and time management. Opening Up will change the way you think about intimacy.

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Review

This is the book you want to read if you're looking for a voice that is balanced, sensitive and sensible when tackling the thorny question of sexual boundaries in love relationships. Opening Up is sure to open up your mind.-- "Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity"

"Taormino's discussion is remarkably nuanced and balanced--and encourages readers to proceed with their eyes wide open."

-- "Jack Morin, PhD, author of The Erotic Mind"

"Courageous, stunningly thorough, and inspiring. If you need a pathfinding guide for evolving your relationships, this is it."

-- "Daphne Rose Kingma, author of The Future of Love"

About the Author

Tristan Taormino is an award-winning author, columnist, editor, and educator. She is the author of four books and editor of eighteen anthologies, and her popular Village Voice column Pucker Up is nationally syndicated. Tristan has been featured in over 250 publications, including the New York Times, Redbook, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Entertainment Weekly, New York Magazine, and Men's Health. She has appeared on HBO, CNN, MTV, and the Discovery Channel, and lectures at top colleges and universities and teaches workshops around the world.

Jo Anna Perrin is an audiobook narrator whose readings include Disarming the Narcissist by Wendy T. Behary, You Lost Me There by Rosecrans Baldwin, American Freak Show by Willie Geist, and many others.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B07H46BBC7
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Cleis Press
  • Accessibility ‏ : ‎ Learn more
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ May 5 2008
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 847 KB
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 378 pages
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1573444972
  • Page Flip ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • 鶹 Rank: #126,946 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 out of 5 stars 872 ratings

About the author

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Tristan Taormino
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Tristan Taormino is an award-winning author, sex educator, speaker, filmmaker, and radio host. She is the author of seven books, including The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships, The Secrets of Great G-Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation, The Big Book of Sex Toys, and True List: Adventures in Sex, Porn and Perversion. She is the editor of more than 25 anthologies including The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge and Take Me There: Trans and Genderqueer Erotica, winner of a 2012 Lambda Literary Award. She was creator and series editor of the Best Lesbian Erotica anthology series. Her books have sold over 500,000 copies and been translated into many languages. She’s written for a multitude of publications from Yale Journal of Law and Feminism to Penthouse, and served as editor of the magazine On Our Backs. She was a syndicated columnist for The Village Voice for nine and a half years and writes an advice column for Taboo Magazine.

She is the producer and host of Sex Out Loud, a weekly radio show on the VoiceAmerica Network. As the head of Smart Ass Productions, she has directed and produced twenty-four sex education and erotic films; she is currently an exclusive director for Vivid Entertainment. Her films have won more than a dozen awards. Tristan and her work have been featured in over 400 publications including O: The Oprah Magazine, The New York Times, Redbook, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Entertainment Weekly, Details, New York Magazine, Men’s Health, and Playboy. She has appeared on HBO’s Real Sex, The Howard Stern Show, Melissa Harris-Perry, Loveline, MTV, CNN, NBC, MTV, Oxygen, Fox News, The Discovery Channel, and on over a hundred radio shows; she was the resident sex expert and a recurring guest on two seasons of Ricki Lake.

Tristan’s work, writing and films are routinely used in college courses to explore the complex issues of relationship and sexual diversity, politics and media. As a speaker, she is widely regarded as an expert on a diverse range of topics from sexual empowerment and LGBTQ sexuality to non-monogamy and feminist pornography. She lectures at top colleges and universities including Yale, Cornell, Princeton, Brown, Harvard, Columbia, Smith, Johns Hopkins, and UCLA, where she speaks on gay and lesbian issues, sexuality and gender, and feminism. She teaches sex and relationship workshops around the world.

Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
872 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the content knowledgeable, thought-provoking, and helpful. They also appreciate the readability, saying the ideas presented are easily understood and thoroughly considered. Readers also mention the book provides good guidance and great tools to use to facilitate self-reflection and dialogue.

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11 customers mention "Content"11 positive0 negative

Customers find the book knowledgeable, thought-provoking, and enlightening. They mention it helps questioning the process, has historical facts, and tips and checklists on what to think about. Readers also say the book is an amazing resource for anyone looking at any form of non-monogamy.

"This is a fantastic book. Lots of ideas that challenge the views of relationships that most of us have by default." Read more

"...It also helps to understand all the possible relationship arrangements, and demystifies what they are...." Read more

"Excellent book that talks about what no one else wants to...." Read more

"...A well written and easy to read guide to open relationships...." Read more

6 customers mention "Readability"6 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and intuitive. They mention the ideas presented are easily understood, thoroughly considered, and concrete examples. Readers also say the book provides good guidance if this is something they want to explore.

"...This is an amazing tool to develop and understand aptitudes related to open relationships...." Read more

"...It gives you a better understanding of how it works and how to deal with all the issues that will come up, including jealousy and how to make your..." Read more

"...There are some great tools to use in the book to facilitate self reflection and dialogue with your partner...." Read more

"...The ideas presented are easily understood and thoroughly considered, and concrete examples from people currently in open relationships give context..." Read more

My girlfriend kept renting it out of the library. Now we own it!!!
5 out of 5 stars
My girlfriend kept renting it out of the library. Now we own it!!!
She said yes! We can ditch the ties of monogamy and design relationships as we please. The book helps questioning process and has historical facts and stuff. Get some.
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Top reviews from Canada

  • Reviewed in Canada on May 1, 2018
    Verified Purchase
    This book is amazing to start, or continue, your introspection and sharing on open relationship. This is an amazing tool to develop and understand aptitudes related to open relationships. It also helps to understand all the possible relationship arrangements, and demystifies what they are. The author is also amazing at normalizing non-monogamous relationship. This read is recommended for any couples, monogamous or non-monogamous. Even if your views are strict, you should still read it as it includes multiple cue about communication and harmony within a relationship, whatever type it is.
    4 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in Canada on June 14, 2019
    Verified Purchase
    Excellent book that talks about what no one else wants to. Very enlightening to the lifestyle and there is lots of information that was very helpful to us. It gives you a better understanding of how it works and how to deal with all the issues that will come up, including jealousy and how to make your relationship with your primary partner stronger.
    One person found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in Canada on March 5, 2016
    Verified Purchase
    I bought this book as my partner and I are considering opening up our 16 year monogamous relationship.
    A well written and easy to read guide to open relationships. I think this book has realistic viewpoints of the self reflection skills necessary if you are considering an open relationship. There are some great tools to use in the book to facilitate self reflection and dialogue with your partner.
    I would have liked to see more examples of long term couples opening up an existing monogamous relationship.
    I would definitely recommend this book to anyone considering opening up.
    One person found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in Canada on January 8, 2015
    Verified Purchase
    An easy to read book including many interviews of individuals practicing polyamory and insights from the author. The author covers a very wide range of definitions and forms of what it means to be in non-monogamous relationships. Tips and checklists on what to think about as well as how to engage in conversations and create agreements with partners and lovers. A very beautiful book to add to your collection to refer to again and again.
    2 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in Canada on January 16, 2014
    Verified Purchase
    As a member of the Kink community, I've found it important to consider the idea of opening any future relationships. This book is an excellent resource on what it means to 'open up' a relationship, and the different ways (and reasons why) this can be done. The ideas presented are easily understood and thoroughly considered, and concrete examples from people currently in open relationships give context to the concepts. A great read... definitely one for the bookshelf!
    5 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in Canada on March 16, 2020
    Verified Purchase
    She said yes! We can ditch the ties of monogamy and design relationships as we please. The book helps questioning process and has historical facts and stuff. Get some.
    Customer image
    5.0 out of 5 stars
    My girlfriend kept renting it out of the library. Now we own it!!!

    Reviewed in Canada on March 16, 2020
    She said yes! We can ditch the ties of monogamy and design relationships as we please. The book helps questioning process and has historical facts and stuff. Get some.
    Images in this review
    Customer image
  • Reviewed in Canada on January 3, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    Interesting read if you're curious about what Open Relationships are. Definitely learnt some things I didn't know. Also provides good guidance if this is something you want to explore as a couple.
  • Reviewed in Canada on June 18, 2016
    Verified Purchase
    This is a fantastic book. Lots of ideas that challenge the views of relationships that most of us have by default.

Top reviews from other countries

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  • ë
    3.0 out of 5 stars Good book, not enough self-improvement included
    Reviewed in France on September 2, 2016
    Verified Purchase
    This book does a great job at explaining open relationships and the different ways that people can see it. However, it presents as normal and admissible to do some things that are actually detrimental to relationships. It has somewhat a standpoint of "this is how you feel, let's work with that" instead of saying "this is how you feel, but maybe it's due to insecurities you can work on". While it's important to acknowledge that you need to tailor your relationships to your needs, this book doesn't encourage you to work on issues that might block you, and frequently presents as admissible to impose things on third parties, which is not always cool.

    I strongly prefer More Than Two.
  • Nicolas Hatton
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great book to find out about polyamory
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 11, 2022
    Verified Purchase
    I wanted to find out more about polyamory and this book gave me all the information I needed. It's insightful with plenty of exemples of personal lived experience. It helped me deal with difficulties in my relationship at the time, especially around jealous feelings and how I could break them down into more distinct emotions. I'd recommended this book for anyone wanting to open up their relationship. Warning: it only works when the two of you wants to open up and both partners should read the book and discuss it at length if you want it to work. Sadly, it didn't for me :-( but nothing to do with this brilliant book!
  • Cliente 鶹
    5.0 out of 5 stars Ótima experiência!
    Reviewed in Brazil on June 6, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    Eu comprei esse livro junto com a minha namorada e está ajudando muito a gente a nos conhecer melhor e conhecer nosso relacionamento em um nível diferente! Recomendo para todo mundo!
    Report
  • Valerie Härri
    5.0 out of 5 stars Unglaublich tolles Buch!
    Reviewed in Germany on November 25, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    Das Buch ist in einem einfach verständlichen Englisch geschrieben und leistet einen unglaublich wertvollen Beitrag zum Verständnis von offenen Beziehungen aller Art. Das Buch ist vorurteilsfrei geschrieben (beschreibt offene Beziehungen nicht als die einzig richtige Form von Beziehung) und ist für JEDEN geeignet, der sich für das Thema interessiert! Sehr empfehlenswert für alle neugierigen Menschen!
  • Nick
    4.0 out of 5 stars A mind opening book, and will make you think deep
    Reviewed in Japan on October 29, 2013
    Verified Purchase
    This is a mind opening book, and it show the possibility of opening up one's relationship.

    Not only the goods, but also the bads that need take into account.

    It have a few worksheet that give me to think deeply about mine relationship.

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