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  • (Not Quite) Mastering the Art of French Living
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(Not Quite) Mastering the Art of French Living Audio CD – Unabridged, Feb. 11 2020

4.2 out of 5 stars 934 ratings
3.9 on Goodreads
1,032 ratings

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Every year upon arriving in Plobien, the small Breton town where he spends his summers, American writer Mark Greenside picks back up where he left off with his faux-pas–filled Francophile life. Mellowed and humbled, but not daunted (OK, slightly daunted), he faces imminent concerns: What does he cook for a French person? Who has the right-of-way when entering or exiting a roundabout? Where does he pay for a parking ticket? And most dauntingly of all, when can he touch the tomatoes?

Despite the two decades that have passed since Greenside’s snap decision to buy a house in Brittany and begin a bi-continental life, the quirks of French living still manage to confound him. Continuing the journey begun in his 2009 memoir about beginning life in France, (Not Quite) Mastering the Art of French Living details Greenside’s daily adventures in his adopted French home, where the simplest tasks are never straightforward but always end in a great story. Through some hits and lots of misses, he learns the rules of engagement, how he gets what he needs—which is not necessarily what he thinks he wants—and how to be grateful and thankful when (especially when) he fails, which is more often than he can believe.

Introducing the English-speaking world to the region of Brittany in the tradition of Peter Mayle’s homage to Provence, Mark Greenside’s first book, I’ll Never Be French, continues to be among the bestselling books about the region today. Experienced Francophiles and armchair travelers alike will delight in this new chapter exploring the practical and philosophical questions of French life, vividly brought to life by Greenside’s humor and affection for his community.

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Review

"Failure to speak French has never been so funny! Greenside may never master the gender of French nouns, but he sees straight through the French. A smart, delicious memoir of life off the beaten track in France."

-- "Julie Barlow, author of The Bonjour Effect"

"Learning how to shop, drive, and eat in France have their own sets of rules, and (not quite) Mastering the Art of French Living tackles them with a soupçon of humor. From buying a lamp to mastering mollusks (oysters), and learning the right--and wrong ways--things are done in France, Mark Greenside perseveres... and succeeds."

-- "David Lebovitz, author of My Paris Kitchen"

"Mark Greenside recounts hilarious experiences only a foreigner can have in France, for they're the ordinary things of French life that go unnoticed by the locals yet the funniest of things for someone from the 'outside'!"

-- "Susan Herrmann Loomis, author of On Rue Tatin"

About the Author

Mark Greenside has been a civil rights activist, Vietnam War protester, anti-draft counselor, Vista Volunteer, union leader, and college professor. His stories have appeared in The Sun, the Literary Review, Cimarron Review, the Nebraska Review, Beloit Fiction Journal, the New Laurel Review, Crosscurrents, Five Fingers Review, and the Long Story, as well as other journals and magazines, and he is the author of a short story collection, I Saw a Man Hit His Wife. Greenside’s memoir about life in France, I’ll Never Be French, remains one of the bestselling books about Brittany since its release in 2009. Greenside resides in Alameda, California, and Brittany, France.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Blackstone Publishing
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ Feb. 11 2020
  • Edition ‏ : ‎ Unabridged
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 1 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1094091278
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1094091273
  • Item weight ‏ : ‎ 136 g
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 14.73 x 3.05 x 14.48 cm
  • 鶹 Rank: #306 in French Cooking (Books)
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.2 out of 5 stars 934 ratings

About the author

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Mark Greenside
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Who Am I

First born Jewish son after the Holocaust, that story.

First generation American, that story too.

From city to suburbs, Brooklyn to Long Island, near poor to near rich, then rocketing downward mobility. From organized labor (sewing trades on mother's side, restaurant trade on father's), to teacher (mom) and lawyer (dad), to marginalized labor again: part-time teacher until age 40 (no benefits, no retirement, no money), then full-time, tenured teacher, and marginalized writer of fiction.

Union leader, officer, worker, activist in American Federation of Teachers.

Civil Rights: marched, picketed, arrested, spoke-out; present at the 'I Have a Dream' speech and the Apollo Theater.

Anti-Vietnam War: marched, picketed, arrested, resisted, screamed-out; present at numerous marches on Washington; threw garbage can through a window at the State Department, proving that even then I understood and appreciated the power of imagery and metaphor.

Anti-draft and anti-draft counseling.

Taught history and political science at black university in North Carolina for two years.

Vista Volunteer in Washington, D.C., where I was paid by the Office of Economic Opportunity to organize tenants against the Federal Housing Authority, who threatened to beat me up.

Vista Volunteer in Greensboro, North Carolina, where I was paid to teach poor people how to save and spend their money. Organized them instead in an inter-racial tenants union so they could save more money, which they then used to buy guns to protect themselves from each other.

Freedom of Information Act, 25 page FBI file. They seem to have spent most of their time trying to figure out if I was really married. I was-but they could never seem to verify it. My wife, however, had no trouble either verifying it or dissolving it-but she was always better and smarter and more vigilant than they.

Left New York in 1962 to go to school in Madison, Wisconsin. Left Madison in 1968 with two degrees, a teaching credential, a wife, and an unplanned honeymoon detention in Chicago jail during the Democratic National Convention. Spent first night at Lincoln Park with Rubin, Hoffman, piglet, and Yippies. Spent the second night in jail. The third night I was in George McGovern's suite in the Sheraton Blackstone watching it on TV, all of which helped to contribute to a profound sense of the absurd.

Went to Greensboro, North Carolina from 1968-70. I was visited by the FBI. The school was visited by the KKK and the National Guard. One student killed.

Came to Berkeley, California in 1970-right after People's Park and Kent State. Still married, unemployed, living on welfare, food stamps, accepted at law school, decided not to go, and began working on a reader of Social Conflict Theory as well as a political science teacher's manual and two political science textbooks. Came face to face with feminism and lost. Happy I can still walk and have kids.

Started teaching history and political science at Merritt College in Oakland-birthplace of the Black Panther Party and Huey Newton and Bobby Seal. Did that until 1977-8 when I got a National Endowment for the Humanities grant to start an oral history project, a la Studs Terkel, in Oakland through Merritt College, which got me involved in working with older people, which led to my next job and got me interested in stories and story telling.

Went to Vista College in Berkeley and set up what at the time was one of the largest and most comprehensive older adult education programs in the nation. Had over 150 classes in five towns, over 100 teachers, and a budget of half million dollars-and over 5,000 students. Taught well elderly, frail elderly, people who were working with elderly and people who wanted to work with elderly. Program was dismantled thanks to our Republican friends in Sacramento, who later went to Washington and did to the country what they'd already done to the State.

I moved on to other things: labor union work for teachers and returned to school in English and creative writing. What I had finally learned was the line between truth and fiction is porous. I realized that fact and data mean nothing until they are interpreted and once they are interpreted they are no longer fact and data-but fiction. So I asked myself, why write lies that are pretending to be truths when I can discover truths by making up lies? The answer led me to fiction. That and working with old folks-hearing their stories and learning that all stories are unique and the same. Very humiliating and freeing to realize everything has already happened to someone somewhere and everything is also brand new.

About stories: once when I was very young my grandfather gave me a dollar and told me to go to the store and buy him a packet of cigarettes. I bought a dollar's worth of candy instead and came back and told him. He spanked me and sent me to my room. Clearly, it would have gone better had I a story to tell.

Years later when I got expelled from high school when a teacher caught me doing something I shouldn't have been doing and heard me say, "You f__k," I knew I'd better come up with a tale. So I told my mother I said, "What luck." She, mother of first-born Jewish son after the holocaust, believed me, defended me, was shocked when I finally confessed. So I learned another lesson, a lesson repeated again and again after the U-2, Vietnam, Watergate, the Contras, Irangate, Monica Lewinsky, and WMD: a story that's true, that has real truth in it, is better than one that is false.

So I began writing fictions and creating lies to discover my truths. Hence, a collection of stories, I Saw a Man Hit His Wife.

And then I went to France, the old world, where everything is new to me, including me. So I got married again and wrote I'll Never Be French (no matter what I do) and (not quite) Mastering the Art of French Living.

And here I am.

For more information and the current newsletter, visit: www.markgreenside.com

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4.2 out of 5 stars
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Top reviews from Canada

  • Reviewed in Canada on April 26, 2019
    Verified Purchase
    A delightful collection of short stories on the author's attempt to integrate into a charming village in Brittany.

    These tales are so hilarious that they couldn't possibly be fiction.

    Very appropriate for reading with children. We've read both books with our kids and they beg to hear another of Mark's adventures at bedtime. Also, educational in that they're learning about another culture and a different part of the world.

    We can't wait to visit.
  • Reviewed in Canada on September 15, 2018
    Verified Purchase
    An entertaining enough read of the trials of an American crossing into a new culture. The author strains for jokes more than he needs to. And there are some parts of the book, that left me, a moderately well travelled Canadian thinking the problem was less cultural and more idiocy or to be more polite naivete (particularly his problems with banks and banking.)
    5 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in Canada on June 15, 2018
    Verified Purchase
    I read Mark's first book and really liked it so ordered his latest when it was first released on 鶹. If you have ever spent time in France you can relate to his stories! It is a quick read and as enjoyable as his first. Highly recommended
    One person found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in Canada on July 12, 2019
    Verified Purchase
    I appreciate the difficulty of trying to learn French. As an anglophone in Montreal, frustrated after years of study, still unable to learn French. You have to have the ear...
  • Reviewed in Canada on July 10, 2019
    Verified Purchase
    Funny, engaging, delightfully self-deprecating. Glad I picked this one up. A hoot. If you've spent some time in France or enjoyed reading "A year in Provence", I'm sure you'll enjoy it.
  • Reviewed in Canada on July 19, 2021
    Verified Purchase
    I was not a fan of this book and I often wondered how this author got into so many mishaps in France. We were in France for a month in 2014 enjoying the beautiful scenery, the people and all the sights to see. I spoke French and if anyone offered advice on how to say something, I was eager to learn - one just needs to apply themselves. In the last chapter, the author said it was pointless in learning or speaking French even though he lived in the country part time. I found that comment to be ignorant to say the least. Let's look at Julia Child who learned French by going to the markets and speaking with the people. She could read and write French as could her husband Paul. Then, there is also Peter Mayle who was British and lived in Provence for over 25 years. He too could speak, read and write French. By being lazy and not trying to learn the language is an affront to the French. I found the author to be rude at best.
    5 people found this helpful
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  • LE LIONNAIS
    4.0 out of 5 stars Les Bretons vu par un US citizen....(à lire , très distrayant)
    Reviewed in France on February 10, 2019
    Verified Purchase
    Mark Greenside, résume parfaitement les défauts et les qualités des Bretons...A ne pas lire au lit avec votre dame dormant près de vous , because les secousses engendrées par votre retenue de rire de son humour.
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  • California buyer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent and humorous survival guide to living in France
    Reviewed in the United States on March 10, 2019
    Verified Purchase
    As a resident in 1985 and subsequent frequent visitor to France, our own experiences are similar to Greenside's narratives and thus the book rang true. This book is not the typical travel guide that recommends hotels, restaurants, and attractions, but rather, serves as a "survival guide" especially to those who prefer freelance traveling or those who are planning an extended stay, including participants in education abroad/language programs and ex-pats. The book guides readers through the "what-to-do, what-to-expect" situations that occur in typical French daily life. Seven topics are covered: driving; shopping; money; eating; cooking and entertaining; health care; and language. One of the major strengths of this book is that, at the end of each chapter, Greenside shares 10 practical, useful and insightful things he's learned about each topic.

    Anyone who's ever landed at Paris CDG airport knows how frustrating, exasperating, challenging, and confounding it can be to exit the airport periphery by car in search of the desired route. It's a good thing we read the book as a "refresher guide" on driving in France before our trip last year. Thanks to Greenside's survival tips, we were able to navigate away from the dreaded Aeroport Peripherique on to the route towards Normandy with a sense of humor and a lot of patience. (Incidentally, even though our rental car last year was equipped with GPS, we encountered two instances where the GPS kept directing us to dead-ends/barricaded streets.)

    Grocery shopping and eating will likely be the most useful sections for any visitor to France -- even if it's as commonplace and simple as buying food for a picnic lunch at a local shop vs supermarket. The story about Mark preparing for his French friends an American BBQ which included corn on the cob was hysterically funny. I made the same faux pas living in France in 1985: I quickly learned corn is fodder for pigs and not for human consumption. Loved the story about the chicken dinner. France has the best and most flavorful chicken. It is a veritable treat whenever our French friends serve us a chicken dinner, especially Poulet a la Normande.

    Over the past 35 years, we sought emergency medical attention three times (blinding migraine; fractured wrist; salmonella). In addition to Greenside's chapter and pointers, we agree that universal health care works in France and emergency medical services are very, very inexpensive compared to the U.S. The total for ALL three medical emergencies was about $1,000 in today's dollars.) The only problem we encountered was paying for the services as visitors. As a resident, one can pay in cash, by check, or credit card. For visitors, the final invoice(s) don't arrive in the States until 1 to 3 months after treatment. France will not accept non-French checks nor overseas credit card payments (that is, one cannot phone France to give one's CC# nor can one make an electronic payment)....which means either having to wire funds to the clinic/hospital (thus, paying one's bank a wire service fee) or, in our case, asking our French friends to make payment on our behalf and reimbursing them later on... followed by submitting copies of the paid bills to our travel insurance company for reimbursement.

    We highly recommend Greenside's book. His book is a page-turner; causes bursts of laughter and squeals of delight; is packed with loads of useful information; and is thought-provoking, engaging, and useful.
  • Kindle-Kunde
    3.0 out of 5 stars Not exceptional but it will do
    Reviewed in Germany on August 4, 2019
    Verified Purchase
    Not the best book about the France that I've read but it passes the time and can be amusing in passing
  • jennifer carpenter
    5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious
    Reviewed in Australia on April 29, 2020
    Verified Purchase
    Because I have lived and worked in French speaking Switzerland I could identify. And laugh over and over again. Great.
  • 鶹 Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars A great book!
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 1, 2018
    Verified Purchase
    After the weekend spent in France I wanted to learn more about this country and bought few books. This book is very funny and lighthearted. Recommend to anyone who wants to know more about life in France. Reading this book felt like little holiday in France! This is a great book and I really enjoyed it!