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  • Low-Demand Parenting: Dropping Demands, Restoring Calm, and Finding Connection with your Uniquely Wired Child
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Low-Demand Parenting: Dropping Demands, Restoring Calm, and Finding Connection with your Uniquely Wired Child Kindle Edition

by Amanda Diekman (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.5 out of 5 stars 244 ratings
4.0 on Goodreads
588 ratings

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"Low-demand parenting requires radical acceptance. It says to the kid right in front of you, I see you, just as you are. - You are ok here. I love you right here."

Parent to neurodivergent children and autistic adult, Amanda Diekman, outlines a parenting approach that finally lowers the bar for the whole family, enabling the equilibrium of the home to be restored.

Low-demand parenting allows you to drop the demands and expectations that are making family life impossible and embrace the joyful freedom of living life with low demands. It can be a particularly effective approach for children with high anxiety levels including neurodivergent children. Amanda talks from experience and teaches you how to identify what the big, tiny and invisible demands are for your own child and gives you the step-by-step instructions on how to drop them.

Full of practical resources and scripts that are easy to implement in busy everyday life, this book is your flashlight and your map to parenting your uniquely wired child. It will not tell you where to go, but it will help you find your way so you and your family thrive.

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  1. Print length
    160 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Jessica Kingsley Publishers
  4. Accessibility
    Learn more
  5. Publication date
    July 21 2023
  6. File size
    1.0 MB
  7. Page Flip
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  8. Word Wise
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  9. Enhanced typesetting
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Popular Highlights in this book
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  1. The most important thing a parent can do when children are having a hard time is stay connected.
    Highlighted by 288 Kindle readers
  2. Low-demand parenting requires radical acceptance. It says to the kid right in front of you: I see you, just as you are. I will release all the projections, shoulds, hopes, and dreams I’ve held tightly to. I will let go of all the plans I’ve made for you. And instead, I will see where you are, right now, and accept that this is an ok place to be. You are ok here. I love you right here.
    Highlighted by 263 Kindle readers
  3. PDA is a neurobiological condition that wires with an extreme and pervasive need for autonomy and control. Any perceived threats to that freedom produce a panic-driven anxiety reaction. PDAers will fight, flee, faint, or fawn as if their lives literally depend on it.
    Highlighted by 232 Kindle readers
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Product description

Review

Parents of neurodivergent children, especially parents of kids who fit the PDA profile of autism, will benefit from reading Amanda Diekman's book on low-demand parenting. In addition to giving clear guidance, her heartfelt journey of acceptance is a beautiful read. -- Diane Gould, Founder PDA North America

An empowering and compassionate guide for parents seeking an alternative approach to raising their children. This book beautifully captures the essence of low-demand parenting, providing practical strategies to honor children's boundaries, build trust, and nurture their authentic selves. It's a game-changer for those ready to embrace a radically respectful and joy-filled relationship with their kids. A must-read for any parent looking to break free from traditional parenting norms. -- Debbie Reber, host of the Tilt Parenting Podcast and author of Differently Wired.

Drawing from her expertise and life experience as an autistic adult, Amanda Diekman's 'Low-Demand Parenting' offers a compassionate and practical guide for parents that will increase their understanding and the experience of their neurodivergent children. Amanda provides guidance to support and develop trust with all children, even those with the most difficulty dealing with the challenges of a neurotypical world. As a result, parents will be set on a path to foster genuine connections and develop a positive sense of self. 'Low-Demand Parenting' is a breath of fresh air given all the discipline oriented approaches that confront parents, and will be a valuable resource for creating a nurturing environment where children can thrive and be celebrated for who they are. -- Barry M. Prizant, Ph.D., CCC-SLP, Author of Uniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism and The SCERTS Model

About the Author

Amanda Diekman is soulful Presbyterian pastor, spiritual director, coach, and autistic contemplative. She has been published at Not An Autism Mom, PDA Parents, the Mighty, and Motherly. She lives in Durham NC with her husband and 3 children.

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Amanda Diekman

Amanda Diekman

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Amanda Diekman is an autistic adult, parent coach and author in the neurodiversity space. Amanda became a leading voice in the movement for low demand parenting practices with her book “Low-Demand Parenting,” published July 2023. Amanda runs a successful coaching practice for parents of neurodivergent children including online courses and a vibrant membership community. She lives with her husband Brian and three neurodivergent children in an intentional community in Durham, NC.

She has been published extensively online, including at ADDitude Magazine, Her View From Home, Not An Autism Mom, PDA Parents, and the Mighty. You can find her programs and writing online at www.amandadiekman.com and engage with her on Instagram at @LowDemandAmanda.

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4.5 out of 5 stars
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Top reviews from Canada

  • Amanda Jean Hobbes
    5.0 out of 5 stars Game changer!
    Reviewed in Canada on May 9, 2025
    Verified Purchase
    This book was truly a game changer for me. I was already feeling in my gut that I needed to parent this way but it was reading the pages and seeing our experience mirrored back that was life changing. I think all parents could benefit from the neuroscience evidence outlined but for us ND folks raising ND children... What a hug in a book!!!
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  • IslandMum
    5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic parenting resource!
    Reviewed in Canada on March 28, 2025
    Verified Purchase
    Wonderful book with real life experiences and strategies to try for your kiddo who doesn’t fit the  « typical » behaviour patterns described in soooo many parenting books. Really helped me feel less alone in my parenting struggles. Could not recommend more!!
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  • M. Maisonville
    5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent and Easy to Read
    Reviewed in Canada on August 31, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    We are following the Low Demand Parenting approach for our autistic son after reading this book. We are so grateful for the results we are seeing. We still have a long way to go; but, this approach has put us at ease. Highly recommend!
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  • Taylor Pelkey
    5.0 out of 5 stars This book is transformative
    Reviewed in Canada on July 2, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    Absolutely love this book, the author is incredibly helpful and provides practical real life insights and realistic expectations
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  • Cybele
    5.0 out of 5 stars I recommend this book for ASD parent!
    Reviewed in Canada on July 2, 2024
    I refreshing book. I cried.
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  • Daniela
    5.0 out of 5 stars life changing!
    Reviewed in Canada on January 29, 2024
    This books is EVERYTHING. Every parent or soon to be parent should read it! It is paradigm shifting yet also very practical and specific. I couldn’t recommend it more highly. Especially combined with following Amanda on Insta @lowdemandamanda
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  • Vanessa
    2.0 out of 5 stars ѱ…
    Reviewed in Canada on October 27, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    Not that informative just a couple examples on how she parented her kids. A bit of a let down tbh I thought it would really go in depth but it’s very surface level and repetitive. It’s more a book on a parents own experience rather than factual and educational ways to parent a kid with PDA. however it’s a great insight on what low-demanding parenting looks like, just wished there where concrete and specific steps to take that would cover most aspects and categories of life.
    One person found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

  • Olsonuf06
    5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for any PDA family
    Reviewed in the United States on May 8, 2025
    Verified Purchase
    This book is absolutely fantastic for caregivers of PDA kids, and has helpful ideas for any and every parent. The author’s approach is realistic and gives strategies for learning how to lower demands on ourselves as caregivers too, which is essential in the long-term. As a clinical psychologist and a parent of a PDAer with a neurospicy family, I can confidently say that Amanda has changed my life with her wisdom.
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  • Lucy C.
    5.0 out of 5 stars Life changing. Very affirming.
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 18, 2025
    Verified Purchase
    To turn the pages and think ‘wow I’m not alone’ was worth the purchase. Well written, easy to follow. There is a section on how to put in place the strategies with your partner, so being a single parent that wasn’t much use. But easy enough to skip over and actually was quite helpful in terms of other adults who care for my son. I’ve recommended this to any and every SEN parent.
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  • Cornelia Lex
    5.0 out of 5 stars Low Demand Parenting
    Reviewed in Germany on November 16, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    I can imagine that this way of parenting is not for everybody, but it seems to be good for us.
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  • Sarah
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great book!
    Reviewed in Australia on November 13, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    Great book! I binge read it during an extended wait in the ED with my toddler. Very neuro-affirming and counter-cultural. I've got lots of things to think about now.
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  • Louise Patton
    5.0 out of 5 stars Perfect for PDA families
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 2, 2023
    Verified Purchase
    This book is a great perspective shift from ‘traditional’ parenting books. If you have PDA/neurodivergent kids (or grownups) it’s going to help you save your relationships, stop shaming yourself for how you have to live (which is very different to a lot of people), and work out how to take care of everyone’s needs as best as possible. I’ve followed Amanda for a while and her advice and knowledge means that my kids trust me, they know I’ll respect their ‘no’ when it’s too hard, and subsequently our world has opened up and they feel safe to learn (self-directed). Life can still be very hard, but so much better than it was in the dark days of burnout when kids were unable to eat, leave screens, or go out of the house. Thank you Amanda <3
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