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  • Breaking Trauma Bonds with Narcissists and Psychopaths: Stop the Cycle of Manipulation, Exploitation, and Abuse in Your Romantic Relationships
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Breaking Trauma Bonds with Narcissists and Psychopaths: Stop the Cycle of Manipulation, Exploitation, and Abuse in Your Romantic Relationships Paperback – Jan. 2 2025

by Shahida Arabi MA (Author)
4.8 out of 5 stars 16 ratings
4.3 on Goodreads
61 ratings

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Break free from manipulation and gaslighting—once and for all.

Are you thriving in your relationship, or merely surviving? Are you the victim of constant manipulation, gaslighting, and deception at the hands of your partner? Do you find yourself constantly making excuses for your partner’s abusive behavior? If you feel trapped in a relationship with someone who displays narcissistic or psychopathic behavior, you may be experiencing a trauma bond—a powerful connection you’ve developed with your abuser as a result of the danger, betrayal, or a power imbalance inherent in your relationship. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone and it’s not your fault.

Written by an expert in narcissism and toxic relationships, this powerful guide is packed with the tools you need to finally break free from the destructive grip of narcissistic or psychopathic abuse. You’ll learn how to spot manipulation tactics used by abusers to create and maintain unhealthy bonds, so you can better recognize, understand, and draw boundaries with your partner. You’ll also discover insightful tips and practical strategies to help you end your relationship safely and build healthy relationships in the future.

Trauma bonding can have devastating effects. It can cause you to not only tolerate mistreatment, but even protect and defend your abuser simply out of a need to survive. This book clears a path to connect with and validate your authentic outrage at how you’ve been treated, so you can finally process your pain and move forward on your path to freedom. Go ahead, take the first step today.

Read more
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  1. Print length
    224 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    New Harbinger Publications
  4. Publication date
    Jan. 2 2025
  5. Dimensions
    15.24 x 1.25 x 22.86 cm
  6. ISBN-10
    1648483569
  7. ISBN-13
    978-1648483561
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Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself
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Review

“This book is a must-read for anyone wanting to understand why they became so unhealthily attached to a toxic person, and how to reclaim personal power and integrity.”—George Simon, PhD, author of the international best-seller, In Sheep’s Clothing, and Character Disturbance -- George Simon, PhD

“Shahida Arabi masterfully educates readers about the complex intersection of neuroscience and the intricacies of healing in the aftermath of psychological abuse. Written in a style that is digestible, informative, and packed with research, Shahida’s book will no doubt serve as an essential guide for survivors and helping professionals alike. Bravo, Shahida!”—Andrea Schneider, MSW, LCSW, licensed clinical social worker/psychotherapist in the San Francisco Bay Area, and author of Soul Vampires -- Andrea Schneider, MSW, LCSW

“Shahida Arabi’s work has contributed mightily to our understanding of how to help victims identify, avoid, and escape from toxic narcissists and psychopaths. Her latest book, Breaking Trauma Bonds with Narcissists and Psychopaths, brilliantly outs the dynamics of such exploitive, destructive people. Her guidance on escaping from ensnaring narcissists is the most comprehensive I have ever read. Anyone who reads it will be aided greatly in avoiding or breaking trauma bonds.”—Pete Walker, LMFT, traumatologist, and best-selling author of Complex PTSD and Holistically Treating Complex PTSD -- Pete Walker, LMFT

“A transformational book for survivors of narcissistic abuse, it provides a killer combination of impeccable research, science, and case studies to reassure readers that what happened to them was no one-off or in any way their fault, and, additionally, that the distress they feel is not an ‘overreaction,’ but the measurable effect of trauma on their brains—which can, happily, be gradually reverted by doing the healing work Arabi outlines.”—Annie Kaszina, PhD, coach, founder of www.recoverfromemotionalabuse.com, and author of Married to Mr. Nasty and The Woman You Want to Be -- Annie Kaszina, PhD

“Breaking Trauma Bonds with Narcissists and Psychopaths is a vital resource for survivors seeking to reclaim their mental and emotional well-being. Shahida’s insightful guidance empowers individuals to break free from the destructive cycles of manipulative relationships. With clarity and compassion, this book provides a road map for detaching from toxic bonds and rediscovering inner strength. A must-read for those ready to break free from the grips of trauma and reclaim their sense of self.”—Lisa A. Romano, life coach and award-winning author specializing in codependency and narcissistic abuse recovery -- Lisa A. Romano

“Readers will find validation and clarity in Shahida Arabi’s science-based, research-backed analysis. They will also encounter a knowledgeable and compassionate guide who provides hope and the important steps to begin to support the self-awareness necessary to break through the disorientation and fragmentation that accompanies this kind of destructive relational dynamic, and ultimately return to wholeness.”—Gretchen Seitz, DAOM, LAc, owner of Seitz Acupuncture and Integrative Health -- Gretchen Seitz, DAOM, LAc

About the Author

Shahida Arabi, MA, is a published researcher and expert specializing in narcissism. She is a graduate of Harvard University and Columbia University, and holds graduate degrees in psychology and sociology. She is also author of several best-selling books, including Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare, The Highly Sensitive Person’s Guide to Dealing with Toxic People, and Power. Her books have been translated into more than eighteen languages all over the world. Her writing has been featured on Salon, Bustle, Psychology Today, Huffington Post, VICE, and New York Daily News. She lives in Manhattan, NY. Find out more about her at www.shahidaarabi.com.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ New Harbinger Publications
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ Jan. 2 2025
  • Edition ‏ : ‎ 1st
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 224 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1648483569
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1648483561
  • Item weight ‏ : ‎ 295 g
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 15.24 x 1.25 x 22.86 cm
  • 鶹 Rank: #227,978 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.8 out of 5 stars 16 ratings

About the author

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Shahida Arabi

Shahida Arabi

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Shahida Arabi, M.A., holds graduate degrees in the fields of psychology and sociology from Columbia University and Harvard University, where she graduated summa cum laude. She is the author of several bestselling books, including Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself, which was a #1 Bestseller in Personality Disorders for twelve consecutive months after its release, and Power: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse, a #1 Bestseller in Applied Psychology. She is also the author of the bestselling book The Highly Sensitive Person’s Guide to Toxic People: How to Reclaim Your Power from Narcissists and Other Manipulators from New Harbinger Publications, available in all major bookstores. Her books have been translated into multiple languages all over the world.

Her work has been featured on Psychology Today, Inc., Salon, Bustle, The Huffington Post, The Meadows, Thought Catalog, and the New York Daily News. Her viral articles “Five Powerful Ways Abusive Narcissists Get Inside Your Head” and “20 Diversion Tactics Malignant Narcissists, Sociopaths and Psychopaths Use to Silence You” have garnered over 25 million views worldwide. Her work has been endorsed by numerous clinical psychologists, mental health practitioners, bestselling authors, and award-winning bloggers.

At Harvard, she conducted one of the first large-scale research studies on survivors who had been in romantic relationships with people with both narcissistic and psychopathic traits. She has also conducted research on bullying victims and their life-course trajectories as a graduate student at Columbia University. Shahida is passionate about using her knowledge base in psychology, sociology, gender studies and mental health advocacy, as well as her research, to help survivors of emotional and psychological trauma stage their own recovery from abuse.

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4.8 out of 5 stars
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Top reviews from Canada

  • Raina Mermaid
    5.0 out of 5 stars Worth every penny
    Reviewed in Canada on February 6, 2025
    Once again, Shahida Arabi proves herself the world expert on fighting back against the damage done by narcissists.

    In her latest book, she breaks down how trauma bonds with abusive people happen and what to do about it. Though this book is titled toward those in romantic relationships, it’s suitable for anyone out of one (old or fresh) who don’t want to repeat it with someone new. It is also still very validating and useful for people whose experience with narcissists and psychopaths is friends, family, coworkers and other non-romantic relationships.

    As always, one of the traits in Arabi’s writing is her ability to validate the reader while also making them feel empowered. Yes, you’ve been a victim, but we are hitting back. You won’t find pop-psychology here, Arabi’s work is deeply rooted in research.

    Maybe you aren’t sure if the person you’re dealing with is actually a dangerous person or just a jerk? Arabi breaks it down for you in plain language with relatable examples. Her very first message for you is letting you know these people are SKILLED at creating these trauma bonds. This isn’t your fault.
    Use her book like a workbook. Highlight it. Write in the margins. To me, it’s like a roadmap from start to finish. Use the checklists. This is a book you want to buy simply because I promise (like all of her books) in your healing journey you will read it and return to parts of it again and again until it’s worn and dog-eared.

    Learn about tactics such as gaslighting, triangulation, love bombing, how to identify them and what to do. Reclaim your voice and know there is hope and a light at the end of the tunnel.

    I personally used Arabi’s older books to cope with a narcissistic parent, which led to poor friendships and work relationships with narcissists. You’ll revisit your own childhood and life experiences, along with your own loving and giving personality traits that narcs love like a moth to a flame.

    No, you don’t have to change everything about yourself or feel ashamed that you wound up in this situation. Arabi walks you through the healing necessary, teaching you how to weaken your trauma bond, put down and maintain boundaries, types of therapy you can access for yourself, and even wholistic approaches.

    If you’re lucky enough to have had minimal experience with these types of people, but find the psychology behind them interesting (true crime!) Arabi provides a wealth of easily read science backed up with real world examples.

    This book is like a crash course on everything you need to know. Elements of it can be read at a deeper level if a part of it resonates with you and you want more. The great thing is Arabi has published many books on this topic. If you want more information and a deeper dive into reclaiming your voice, her book “Power” is for you. Are you like me, a child of a narcissist and need information a bit more tailored to that experience? She’s got you covered with “Healing the Adult Children of Narcissists”. My personal favourite, is “Becoming the Narcissists Worst Nightmare”. If you find yourself in these situations a lot, I would absolutely read this book and then read nightmare next!

    I am thankful we live in a world like people with Arabi, who are helping victims find their voice and reclaim their power. I give her books as gifts and my copies are well worn and loved. If you’re on the fence and overwhelmed by all the books out there, you want the best bang for your buck, trust the woman who is in the trenches of this research. You won’t be sorry.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Naasal
    5.0 out of 5 stars Very Helpful
    Reviewed in Canada on April 9, 2025
    Her books have been life changing,eye opening and a light in the darkest of times.Thank you shahida for your efforts to help do hope to see you some day in person!
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  • I ordered the spicy and regular Danos. The spicy had a broken seal. Spice was all over the plastic bag it came in. Unable to reach 鶹 and not allowed to return grocery items.
    2.0 out of 5 stars Too pricey
    Reviewed in Canada on January 12, 2025
    20 dollars for a kindle copy is.way too expensive. Will the price be more reasonable in the future?
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Top reviews from other countries

  • TheWaterShaman_Beauty
    5.0 out of 5 stars Very Informational
    Reviewed in the United States on April 23, 2025
    Verified Purchase
    Excellent so far but a somewhat tough read. This is very well written. The author weaves science/psychobiology with everyday scenarios and relevant examples. It is both validating and educating. When initially dealing with creatures of this sort, it’s VERY disorienting so you aren’t really sure what’s happening at first. This information is so helpful and supportive of healing, wellness, and assisting one in keeping themselves safe. I recommend… but one may need to take breaks while reading this due to the disturbing nature of the personality types being read about.
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  • SueF52
    5.0 out of 5 stars HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
    Reviewed in Australia on January 5, 2025
    Verified Purchase
    This book is powerful. So much information from this brilliant researcher on narcissism. Some parts were hard to acknowledge regarding the damage that a trauma bond leaves on an individual. I believe it leaves a long-lasting residue. Read it. You won't be disappointed.
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